So I’ve been thinking about what to write about to keep up the consistency of this blog and then it dawned on me: makeup. not so much in a tutorial sort of way but in a “personalized experience” kind of way. so like many girls my makeup journey started at around 13. before then makeup was this strange thing my aunt bought for me every year because i was a girl. honestly i figured that it was because if she really knew me she would have bought board games or a super soaker or a nerf gun–do we still call them guns? anyways, what i mean was that before 13 makeup was this weird thing only adult women wore to look more like adult women, i failed to see makeup’s beauty (see what i did there).
so thirteen makeup was a must, mostly before i left the house i would put it on. it’s reminds me of those women who say “let me put on my face” before leaving the house and for me leaving the house without makeup was a faux pas. it just wasn’t done. soon i became like my mother, not in a sad way but in a overdone sort of way. you see my mom always put on a bit too much makeup in my opinion. she did dark green eyeshadows, reddish plum lips, and tons of blush. so since she was the only example I had i followed suit. what i didn’t realize then was that my because my mother was white she could wear certain colors that i could not. pastel blues, pale pinks, those all would accentuate her pale Irish skin whereas my with me it looked clownish. but because that was my style inspiration I wore it anyways.
now by the time i hit my Junior Year of Highschool things started to change. i got more involved in the aspect of looking pretty. i read all the magazines, mainly Seventeen and i felt like i was more aware of what makeups i should wear for my skin tone. in fact, i was aware of what my skin tone was (olive) and how i should use that as a way of accentuating my features. however, the foundations i chose were always too light or too dark for my skin tone.and when i got into my emo phase i often wore red lips with black liner/shadow. so basically i didn’t know jack.
after high school ended and my life consisted of watching YouTube videos, mainly beauty bloggers. my fave was xsparkage of course (seriously you should check her out.) and as i have mentioned about my love of Raquel Reed, what i may not have mentioned was my obsession with alternative models and my desire to want to be one. you see i thought if i collected enough photos of myself as a portfolio i could actually be somebody. i was of course dreaming, but it gave me something to look forward to in my life post high school.
on top of that, i secretly hated my skin tone. what it was is that i wanted to wear bold and exciing colors but twhat most magazine’s told me was i was either too light or too dark for any of the colors i wanted. and for someone who is obesessed with color this simply would not do. so what i tended to do was play up the colors i had in my arsenal. pink and red lips, black and silver glitter liner, and a myriad of shades of eyeshadow. i played with color a bit more than most of the girls who i grew up with but back then i was an “artist” and what kind of artist doesn’t express themselves? these days self expression takes a back seat most days unless i want to look done up for some reason or another, but i always wear eyeliner and foundation as my go to look.
so you may be wondering why i would name this 330 Toffee Caramel? well 330 Toffee Caramel is my, shade under the fit Me foundation by Maybelline cosmetics. i had a lovely sales associate help me pick it out and find my exact shade using that weird skin tone scanner thing and now that i know my shade i realize that my skin color isnt so bad afterall. i’m not sayint that makeup is the path to self-love but for me knowing my right shade and being able to look at it and say yes this is me gives me a level of confidence i havent had before. because my shade wasn’t nonexistent anymore I feel more beautiful. like my differences have been acknowledged.
Anyways if you like this blog then follow and if you want to hear more from me then I have a YouTube channel called Practice Randomosity and subscribe if you feel so inclined. if not at least check it out, but anyways have a wonderful day.